Dreams and Disciplines

coming slowly into this world again...slept past the early morning rise point again...

dreamt of Mai, my dear friend Mai was there and we hugged and I was so happy to see her though I sat apart from her on the bus...a girl from Agama, who wanted more money than I really owed her, Amy was there and then eventually I was there in a huge white fluffy robe with bub, my hair combed over and seeing myself from outside I looked very nice, we were going to sit in the lounge in order to find a lover for the evening. I started having second thoughts as I went to the bathroom...randomness...

I awoke with a preliminary grogginess and disinterest in practice and therefore in life today. but alas in the bathroom i remembered i am studying neuro linguistic programming from last night and i love it and i am getting to it without a feeling a guilt.

now with a smooth cup of guilt free sugar and milk coffee i can feel the blur of second cakra but i don't care and actually am not thinking so much like that. let's just see. i can't continue fighting, i am here and so can be who i am here, knowing that shortly i will return to the land of yoga etc etc.

I love NLP they reference negative/unproductive states as self loathing, lonliness, anger, seriousness, etc. hehe. god i read this stuff and think there are so many areas I want to improve in!!!!

it is amazing that my dad doesn't at all feel the drive for self improvement, assured that he is perfect as is. such a wonderful complimentary teaching for me!
thanks dad!