Dreams

So, after the tarot reading, the Heirophant's hello, and a renewed sense of cheerfulness, I visited many people in my dreams.

First I go into a room where there is a large gathering of family. Grandmom, Louis, Lynn and my parents and others sit in a big circle. I go up to my uncle and stick my cheek in front of his face for a kiss, then go to greet Aunt Lynn. Not much more happens here that I recall.

Then I am with Luc and we are on campus, looking for a parking space, deciding to park somewhere under a large constructed roof and hoping we won't get a ticket. Then we are in a house and grace is there, dressed in a beautiful red outfit. I am irritated at some point with the situation, but consciously become more relaxed as Luc and I work together to prepare dinner or something of the sort. I notice the mood shift in myself in the dream. It is a repeat of last night talking with my parents, when my mom turned to me and said about my dad, "he just loves to hear himself talk. He sounds like he knows what he's talking about because he has this deep resonant voice, but if you look of most of the things he says they are based on nothing. He is talking out of his hat, as my father used to say." There is part of me that is irritated with her for always pointing things out about dad that seem to me obvious reflections of herself, and also it just seems like a divisive sort of speech. But then I see her as a little girl, and her father saying, "look at that guy, just speaking out of his hat," and the closeness she may have felt to him while he shared that information, that judgment of another, with her. Then dad returns and smiles, saying, "I just love these kinds of conversations." I reply: "And I just love listening," ironically a bit, and he laughs, "I know, otherwise you would have left." Mom then says something under her breath and points to dad, and I am again irritated, now I think she is acting really childish. I say so out loud, but then consciously it seems choose to change my attitude, instead of angrily pointing out her childish behavior, I laughingly tease her for being like a child and pretending that dad can not hear her. Dad laughs as well, and so does mom. In this way I am able to see mom as the fun loving person she is and make what I would otherwise interpret as divisive speech into a joke that we bond over, affectionately teasing mom and her childlike ways.

A similar mood change is reflected in the dream, when I am irritated with Luc then somehow become happy and communicative.

Later I am with Jackie and Leigh, high school buddies, encouraging Leigh to take a day of silence for its many benefits I know she would enjoy.

From there I hear clearly my name, "Rowe," and I wake up, the sound so clear I am sure it came from this world. But of course no one is there and I don't know where the sound came from. I am shocked awake and realize I have to pee quite badly so I get up and go. It is 5:50. I think it is my self calling me to wake up, as I have been sleeping late and suffering for it the past week. Now I am awake in such a way that going back to sleep seems an unattractive option for I am a bit fearful and disturbed.

I'm sorry, whatever benevolent force called me, for still I went back into bed, a bit fearful and looking around until I dozed off again, this time into a dream time almost mirroring real time. There I am with mom and my sister going to a yoga class though at what seems sort of like a daycare center in a mall. I dream of coffee for the second time in a row (yesterday I also dreamt of coffee and extended family members), going to buy a cup while waiting for the yoga class to begin. In the mall Bub gives me her credit card and I walk into a shop, only to discover that they do not sell coffee as I had expected. I return to them and enter the classroom, class will start soon at 7:30. Michel is there, with dark hair and looking young, attractive. I greet him. I am wearing Bub's flowing white skirt and wonder if I can practice in it. I go into the bathroom in the dream but don't end up going.

When I wake up it is 7:30, just as that class was to start, and I must get up in order to make it to work on time. Without thinking I put on the same white skirt I wore in the dream, recalling easily that it is Friday, the day of Venus, who is in resonance with the color white. I decide to fast, easily, and choose not to wear the necklace I have worn all week as a show of some sort of purity in non-adornment, though the white skirt if flowing and cozy to wear. It is only later that I consciously recall wearing that skirt in the dream.

Alas, who was it who called me like that?