Evening Talks and Tarot

Last night I did a lot of conversing upon returning home from work, via my brother, who came to pick me up. I hope that satisfied the five elements of a right decision.

I talked with him while he circled the fan and scrunched up his face responding mainly to my dialogue on death and the importance of facing things with "no! why!" and then laughing that it was fun to just that. I found it fun too and curious trying to decipher if what he was saying was an accurate representation of his actions, which speak for themselves. His case is one of non-commitment, non-choosing. Though he said a very interesting thing which is this: "You don't
start having experiences until you commit one hundred percent." I interpret this as the idea that you don't gain admittance, or have the mystical experiences you learn exist, until you commit 100% to them. I guess there is adequate evidence against this.

In any case, after awhile he got tired of the talk, unsure of whether he was gaining any ground, if it mattered that he gain ground, and probably wanting to get back to his video games since he claims he spends all his time trying to avoid these types of conversations with us.

A walk with mom and youngest brother around the block, talking about death some more. Win says he thinks I am brainwashed into believing in God and all this stuff. I asked why it isn't brainwashing that he doesn't care about God way or the other. And I laughed, saying I chose this option, I looked around and picked a program, i.e., I want to "brainwashed" this way.

Inside talking with dad and mom in the living room. Maybe it's the lack of interaction at work that leads me to be so talkative later on. We talk about the seven kinds of twin souls, which Olga says there are seven and only seven, which are: Healer, Magus, Teacher, Messenger, Protector, Warrior, Executor. If you find which one is your essence and become one with it, it is the fastest way toward self-realization, or the land of Shambhala, a.k.a. Belovodia, whichever name you prefer it refers to the mystical land of eternal beings guiding humanity from an Enlightened energy and perspective. Who wouldn't want to go there?

Or rather, become there, as the idea of going somewhere is often called erroneous. I think you can look at things in at least two different ways to interpret what is actually the same phenomena.

So, I ask the tarot cards who or what my twin soul is. I am looking for a major arcana, something obvious. I get a situation of cups, which mom interprets as my ability to go to extremes in order to get what I want--read, Psyche taking the mask off Eros and then later (8) going into the underworld to retrieve him after making that mistake. The Moon is looking over the situation while the Page of Pentacles is underlying. I see femininity and the Goddess overlooking and something to do with money...

In the immediate future is the Nine of Wands, one step before the close of the Golden Fleece hunt in the story of Jason, and it seems to imply that I will be recognized for my efforts--a bit of a mystery.

Then, finally, come Temperance in the position of the final outcome. She is the feminine, feeling aspect of the Goddess who is constantly keeping the balance. She is also a messenger, delivering messages from Hera and Zeus to the humans. Her drawback is that she is always serving someone else and can at times be "wishy washy" as she can equally see the feelings of both. In this description is a nice description of the difference between feelings and emotions. Emotions are visceral responses to a situation while feeling is intuition, of a higher order.

An interpretation online:
http://www.tarotteachings.com/temperance-tarot-card-meanings.html

I feel that the card of Temperance represents either a Messenger or an Executor--as she gives messages while also managing the balance between people and gods.

One final card? Ok. I send the thought that let this card be a final clarification of the ones before. It is the one I had my eye out for all along. It is the Heirophant. He is a philosopher, half god, half centaur, who blazes his own path based on connection to the divine through his own heart and self. Mom says oh, it just took the third try to get the right card, but that is you. It is sweet, for a few weeks ago I asked the position of a certain person in my life and the response was the Heirophant. I thought this was his way of saying, I am here with you. I took it as such and also noticed the ways in which this character informs myself.

http://www.tarotteachings.com/hierophant-tarot-card-meanings.html

I went to sleep focusing on my astral and pondering the role of Messenger, one I had not thought to associate myself with before. There is something humble and sweet about it, and I even think that with the yoga I will teach at Agama I am more of a messenger than a teacher, simply sharing the practice rather than really waking people up such as the Buddha had.