Yes

Yes, it looks like I will strike out again.

What am I doing? The dance. I am practicing the dance of discovering who I am. I want to attract my lover. I want to wake up because I feel His presence very near.

I have decided to go it alone, again.

And just what am I thinking? If I can do this, I can do anything else. So why this?

Part of me asks, why am I leaving? And part of me feels that this is the best way to go. Not because I am running from something, though I have left for that reason before. Now I feel to leave because the universe uplifts me to do so.

How will I support myself?

Trudy says that He loves me so much, yet he will never force himself on me. He will allow me to travel the path I desire towards him, and he will always be with me, even when I think he is not. He will not allow me to go too far astray. Yet I still must use caution, exercise wisdom in judgment.

For, she says, you do not want to go down a path and become too entrenched only later to find that it is a dark path. Go very, very, SLOW, she says.

What is the end of this yoga? She asks. Union with the divine, I answer. But there was first a slight hesitation. Because part of me feels inadequate to ever attain such a lofty goal, and fears I will fail on the path. But this thinking is false humility, perhaps. And shows a lack of faith that the said goal is, in fact, attainable. Cautioned as we always are by how few attain the true realization.

It is indeed a supreme goal, and one which may take considerable devotion and effort on my part. However, with true faith in His supreme compassion, and in the essential teachings of yoga--that we are, in our essence, the same as That--it is not only possible, it is inevitable.

I ask what the goal of her path is. She says the promise of a better life beyond. The deepest peace in her heart which she knows protects and nourishes her, and will be there to greet her upon her departure from this world.

She encourages me to remember the shortcut, the book of His word. And to listen to my heart. She can feel His presence there, and she urges me to listen to that voice which guides me truly.

As she describes His nature, my eyes fill with tears, for truly, that is how I also experience his love. It reminds me of the way I am loved by my teacher.

As I keep in heart the desire to benefit others, to share the wisdom teachings which have helped heal much of my own pain, clarity eases confusion and fear.

And I see that I have already ventured farther into the path than I was conscious of doing. I did move quickly, eagerly, and then did reap the effects of this aggressive haste in the form of confusion, anxiety, and the necessity to re-trace my steps so that I could make sense of where I came to be.

So here I am. And I did nothing alone. This act must be consecrated. I am blind without Him.